The Cliffhanger Of My Life

What am I supposed to do with my life?

It’s the question I’ve been asking myself and God probably everyday for the past month or so. And everyday I was still stumped.

I recently had a job rejection via Instagram which felt like a punch in the stomach.

Why was I not worthy of this job? Why was I not worthy of an email back?

And in the midst of my tears and my doubt, something in my mind shifted.

My worth cannot be measured by people that don’t know me.

My identity isn’t found in what job I have.

The only place I can find my worth and my identity is in Jesus.

He is still writing my story. My story doesn’t end because I didn’t get my ‘dream’ job. God is just telling me to dream bigger.

So now I’m living in what my husband called ‘the cliffhanger’. I don’t know what God has in store for me next, and that’s the exciting part.

I don’t what the next chapter of my story is but what I do know is that God knows the end.

I know that he is working everything together for good.

That job simply wasn’t meant for me. He is redirecting me somewhere else. And I’m excited to go with Him.

This year has been one of the hardest of my life and I’ve allowed myself to honestly be fuelled by anxiety rather than the truth of God’s word.

I don’t want to be fuelled by that anymore. I want to be fuelled by Jesus and what he is saying about me.

So I’m making the decision to let him lead my life.

And this is the starting point.

About a year ago, God told me that I needed to write. I asked for signs multiple times, he gave me signs multiple times and yet I still found a way to talk myself out of it.

And then life changed drastically and it wasn’t something that I could even think about anymore.

Until I had a job rejection. Until I could make the decision to let God lead me and he told me immediately what he wanted me to do. So I’m obeying.

I don’t know why he wants me to write. I don’t know what he wants me to write. I don’t know who he wants me to write for. But I know that I need to obey.

Heavenly Father I thank you that you speak to us. I thank you for your love that you shower down on us. I thank you for the peace you can offer in times of sadness, in times of loss and hard times. I pray that every person present can feel your presence as they read my words Lord Jesus. I pray that you cover them in your spirit Lord Jesus. In your mighty name I pray, Amen.