Today was a hard day. Possibly one of my hardest days as a mother so far and for most of it, I couldn’t see where God was meeting me in it.
There were tantrums, fights, screams and many “no’s” shouted across the room testing whatever was left of my patience.
We spent the whole day at home, which of course was part of the problem, and although I tried to get us out, it simply did not happen. (I’m sure there’s many of you who can relate).
Midday came and I was balling my eyes out to my husband on the phone and he paid us a quick visit in the middle of his work day to give me flowers and a hug. And I know what you’re thinking - I have the best husband - and yes I think so too.
And although that did lift me up, I honestly still felt the same. I still felt angry, I still felt lonely and I still felt anxious.
On days like these I find myself questioning God’s plan for my life and if I’m where I'm supposed to be. It often feels like if I can't show up as the ‘perfect’ mum everyday then I'm somehow failing. I realise this is impossible to ask of myself and I'm sure there’s mums out there that put the same pressure on themselves.
And the truth is, God never expects us to be perfect. But He does expect us to be obedient and He does expect us to lean on Him.
God never tells us that the situations He puts us in will be easy, just that ‘His burden is light’ (Matthew 11:30). So when we walk with Him through these hard days, we are able to share the load with Him.
I am a big believer in that God speaks to people through other people, and today I received a phone call from a friend who has been trying to keep me in check with my blog writing and I believe God was calling me back to my purpose.
The past two weeks have been particularly hard with illness - mums will know just how hard it is to be ill whilst taking care of little humans - which has meant I haven't been able to do much writing. And honestly, my motivation to continue was on the floor. I didn't feel like I had it in me to write. The enemy was telling me that I couldn't do it anymore. And for some reason I was beginning to believe it.
But God intervened. The friend who called me asked me how I was getting on with everything blog-wise and offered to help me create a clear plan. I’m the type of person who needs a plan or a list for pretty much everything so this was exactly what I needed to be able to actually get back to writing. God was calling me back to my purpose.
Today I questioned God on why He had placed me in this role of a stay at home mum and He quite simply gave me the answer. I’m here because I am meant to share my experiences with people, to encourage mothers to see Him in the everyday.
In the midst of one of my messiest days, God spoke to me in such an amazing way and affirmed His truth to me.
So, today I encourage you to seek God on those hard days. Look for Him in ways you might not expect because He shows up everywhere.